It's been so LOOOONG! and I don't think anyone reads this anymore. I don't read this anymore.

Mulled wine is so DELICIOUSSSS! How did I not know this before???? Oh, Europe, I love what you've taught me.

In the vein of what I've been doing in the last few posts:
I WILL MISS: Forralt bor (hot wine). So scrumptious. I've been crazy shopping today and yesterday evening, at the Vorosmarty ter Christmas market full of beatiful handmade jewelry, ceramics, textiles, and other spendy items that bring out the best (worst) materialistic instincts in me. And the perfect compliment to Christmas shopping = mulled wine. It's a great amplifier to my already impulsive shopping tendencies. This is something capitalist America should already have figured out. But I've never had forralt bor at the Golden Candlelight Walk...what is up with that? ;)

I have gotten even lazier with my cooking, and my cravings for "American" food are getting worse. Last night I enjoyed a burrito - Chipotle style, or as close as it gets in Budapest - and since I'm in Europe, that meant I could also get a margarita. This is basically a fast-food joint. With margaritas. Nice.

Though the last two paragraphs have centered on alcohol, I don't want any of you blog-readers to worry. I'm not going crazy out here with the drinking. I'm saving that for Wednesday night, after I finish my Combinatorics final, and my Dynamical Systems & Bifurcations final - two big finals, one of which I will probably fail. Well, que sera sera mis amigos.

In the past two weeks I have:

• enjoyed a Thanksgiving dinner of lamb, pastry, and kaymak, a Bosnian cream-cheese sort of thing. Delicious.
• walked the wall around the old city of Dubrovnik in Croatia. Dubrovnik is positively gorgeous. It was a pleasure to spend my Thanksgiving break on the Adriatic, where short sleeves are still mostly comfortable and seafood is fresh.
  
• marvelled at the tolling of the bells of the 6 or 7 Catholic churches in Dubrovnik's old city while soaking up the beauty of the sun setting over the Adriatic sea.
• noted the benefits of travelling on the night bus - it's not a bad way to minimize daylight hours eaten up with travel, and you save on hostel $. Fortunately as a product of years of sleep deprivation, I have little problem sleeping on buses. Or anywhere.
• been homesick - I would love to stay here for more time, but I am SO excited to see all you peeps at home. I miss my buddies! While I have met some exceptional people here and made a few great new friends, I often think of those back home with whom I'd like to share these experiences.
  
• watched Star Trek. When I first got into Star Trek, it was a personal and solitary obsession. What a joy it is to enjoy the show(s) with people who also genuinely like it. Not like I didn't have this opportunity back at Olaf, but somehow here it has affected me more.
• finally written postcards. For those of you who will receive postcards probably right after I return to the States, I'm sorry you didn't get them sooner. For those of you who will wonder if I love you when you don't receive a postcard at all - rest assured, I DO love you. I am sorry I've been terrible about keeping in touch, and I hope you will forgive me. Again.
  
• loved math and hated math. Such is the topography of my academic life right now. I love it. I hate it. I am tired of it. :) Contradiction. QED. What-EVER.

I don't know what else to say. This post has been a little incoherent, but I wanted to say SOMETHING since I've been silent for a while, and now I really need to go study. (read "get motivated/disciplined to study"). Love you!
Viszontlatasra!

Coming home, and a new thing

I've been away for a while, and I'm not talking about me being a continent away from the States. This extended stay in Budapest has been an interesting ride thus far for me, like trying to ride a stegosaurus, or some sort of narwhal...well, not. The ride has more often than not been going on inside of me. I don't know if I will really have great adventure stories to tell when I return to Colorado and Minnesota, because my attention has been inward.

So I haven't posted anything of substance in really over a month. This has been for a few reasons, mostly having to do with me not wanting to post the same old same old, life is good here but not really because I hate school kind of drivel. For the record, I do not hate school per se. I am tired of school. At times I feel my "academic maturity level" has plummeted in the past year. In my exhaustion, both metaphorical and literal, I have reached the point where I am weeks behind on homework - in all of my courses no less - and I am struggling to keep pressing on. That's been the worst of my life here, and the biggest challenge for me. My "strategy" for "dealing" with burn out has been avoidance - doesn't work really of course. :) But after some pretty shitty feelings and I'm sure a lot of annoying crap my friends here had to deal with, I am turning corners, taking names, and slowly knocking out one assignment after another, alternately catching up and falling behind again. :) This probably sounds not great as you read it, and of course it isn't great, but it IS fine. I'm learning. That's what I love to do. So I've been away from blogging, sorry to anyone who's been hanging on my every word waiting for more news from Budapest.

Here's some news: I am loving this city more and more each day. I have been making lists in my head of all the things I will miss when I leave, and all the things I will NOT miss. I'm going to try to post a few of these each week, or at least a few every time I remember to blog.

For starters...
I will NOT miss: the pungent odor of urine that leaps out from dirty corners at you when you are just about to take a deep, slightly unsatisfying of polluted Budapest air.

I WILL miss: poga'csa for breakfast - biscuits in the Hungarian style, salty and peppery and somehow just heavy enough to feel like a breakfast when I'm on the run.

I will NOT miss: small gangs of disgusting teenage boys who casually toss racial slurs at your friends of Asian descent and throw sticky fruity food in your hair.

I WILL miss: COFFEEEEEEEE. European freakin' coffee. I had never had espresso before I arrived on Hungary's blessed soil (how I missed it before, I don't know). I AM IN LOVE. Not just espresso of course - the coffee here is damn fine. And as with many things in Europe, it comes with all kinds of alcohol too! Hahaha.

I will NOT miss: averting my eyes guiltily from obviously homeless people - avoiding even their faces. What you do to the least of these...
This one I won't miss, but perhaps I should. A lot harder to forget people hurt like this when you're not confronted with it each day. When you live in an overheated dorm high on a hill and spend your time thinking, and overthinking. When you pay thousands of dollars for an experience, a piece of paper, a bridge to a future (a bridge over the present?).

I WILL miss: BSMers. There's something delightfully uncomplicated about hanging out with these people. More on this in the future - it needs some serious reflection.

I'll keep brainstorming these. It'll be fun!
In fact I have under a month here. Not enough time! Never enough time. But life is good, at the very bottom, and the very core, whatever. :)

If this post is a little too vague for you, please enjoy the following concretely vague details of my recent activities:
- A Friday night cocktail party and cute black dress (which so happens to make me look even more voluptuous - go me!!!)
- PUPPIES! I saw two puppies last week: one was some sort of German shepherd type with enormous paws, and another was a golden retriever puppy. Puppy sightings are good for the soul.
- Thanksgiving! Happy Thanksgiving to all my lovely friends and fam who read this blog. I had Thanksgiving this weekend with a group of dear friends here, and I'll be honest: It was gut-bustingly magical. My first Thanksgiving physically away from home. But home is where the heart is - so you're real home is in your chest. Remember that. ;)
- A jaunt to Esztergom today. It's finally snowing and being FREEZING here, but I got to see Slovakia across the river in the most beautifully crisp winter air this afternoon. Esztergom was the capital of Hungary before Budapest, and there is an ENORMOUS Basilica there where Szt. Istvan was baptized and crowned (I think...hmm).

Okay. Before I write more run-on/incomplete sentences about places you may or may not care about...I'm off! Must be fretting about math again. :) Viszla't bara'taim!