My, my. It has been a while. :)
Well, a great deal of life has been going on since last I posted here. Heartache and grief at a friend lost to the cruel coldness of depression. Lots and lots of laughter and hilarity. Finding freedom I never imagined in saying true things out loud. Spending more of my 'days at the office' on some of America's gorgeous reservoirs! Using my science writing and statistical muscles for good and not evil (or at least, for the government). Saying goodbye to a mentor and hello again to the exhausting frustration that volunteering in a church can induce. Oh - and I went to Jamaica! With those awesome high schoolers. That was fun and a half (1.5 FUNs).
In the most recent news available, I am on sabbatical from employment and re-evaluating my direction in life. I have been angsting over this evaluation process from Day One post-graduation (and let's face it, the angst has been a practice of mine since at least junior year of high school), and I can say with a lovely sort of calm that right now, I am feeling "ready." Ready for what, you may ask; ready for anything. Ready to make decisions. Ready to own my life. Ready to continue letting go of my angst. Ready to keep making tracks. :)
It surely is a beautiful one, this life. And God I am lucky to be living it.
I just have this beautiful open feeling inside of me right now, like I am standing in an open doorway looking out on the vast fullness and color of the rest of my life.
It's a nice change from the claustrophobic shithole of depression. Hot damn!
And, I took the GRE finally this morning, and it felt GREat! :)
Showing posts with label old friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label old friends. Show all posts
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Monday, January 26, 2009
Olaf Olaf - whence springs the butterfly? from snow?
Hello folksies,
I'm back at Olaf now, what a treat, what a terror! Life is good. Since I am among the living again, I haven't been spending nearly as much time on teh internets, which is good for me and bad for this blog. I'm not sure if I will maintain this little binary corner of mine, but I suspect I shall, as another way to express and communicate the wild ride that will be my last semester of undergrad and the leap into the great beyond after that... And perhaps I will write in run-on sentences all the time. Just brainstorming here!
But I wanted to say one little comment that has occurred to me tonight as I read back over some of these posts - I can hardly remember writing them! Time moves and moves me and pushes old memories off the wagon in my brain! That's a good sign to me, a sign that I AM indeed "among the living" since I'm not stuck grinding the same gears I ground in Budapest. But it also means I am doubly grateful for having created this blog in the first place - not only as a place to vent, but a place to seal my memories for later consumption. Maybe a little like dandelion wine (ha! Ray Bradbury reference!).
At any rate, J-term has been a blast, both of fun, and of cold wind. GOOD GRACIOUS I FORGOT HOW FRAKKING COLD IT GETS IN THIS STATE. Holy mackerel. I have learned a lot re: history and humanity, and that is always good. I have also been exercising - exercising the core "forgive myself" muscles, and those "ask for help" latissimi dorsi (seriously, that's how you spell the plural). And I must say, I'm excited for the coming semester. I'm at a great point in my life when I've realized that I do need help with a lot of things I formerly thought I could handle by default, and now I have opportunity to reorganize and sort of mentally hit 'refresh' in terms of my academic focus. Of course when things heat up a bit and the stress comes out with guns a-blazin' it will be difficult, but I am learning to really deal in healthy ways and these are lessons that can only help me. Hooray! Go life!
Two other things to mention (for my later consumption, if nothing else...):
- Scholastic book orders!!! Today at lunch Claire brought up one of my most favorite things from all of elementary school. Did anyone else just LIVE for Scholastic book orders? And the BOOK FAIR! OH MY GOODNESS. Just thinking about it makes me a little high - with joy.
- My olde neighbor Budapesten Elara came to visit Olaf today. AWESOME. I miss her a lot. I miss ye olde roommate Fai a lot. I miss awesome Star Trek buddy Arolyn a lot. I miss Budapest a lot. Not enough to go back right now - I'm barely just getting reacquainted with life here! - but a lot.
Now, I must return to reading! A Holocaust survivor is visiting our class tomorrow and I want to be all kinds of prepared, at least as far as that is possible. We are SO fortunate that she is coming to speak with us.
Seriously, this class is Nagyon Nagyon Jo'.
Love,
Me
I'm back at Olaf now, what a treat, what a terror! Life is good. Since I am among the living again, I haven't been spending nearly as much time on teh internets, which is good for me and bad for this blog. I'm not sure if I will maintain this little binary corner of mine, but I suspect I shall, as another way to express and communicate the wild ride that will be my last semester of undergrad and the leap into the great beyond after that... And perhaps I will write in run-on sentences all the time. Just brainstorming here!
But I wanted to say one little comment that has occurred to me tonight as I read back over some of these posts - I can hardly remember writing them! Time moves and moves me and pushes old memories off the wagon in my brain! That's a good sign to me, a sign that I AM indeed "among the living" since I'm not stuck grinding the same gears I ground in Budapest. But it also means I am doubly grateful for having created this blog in the first place - not only as a place to vent, but a place to seal my memories for later consumption. Maybe a little like dandelion wine (ha! Ray Bradbury reference!).
At any rate, J-term has been a blast, both of fun, and of cold wind. GOOD GRACIOUS I FORGOT HOW FRAKKING COLD IT GETS IN THIS STATE. Holy mackerel. I have learned a lot re: history and humanity, and that is always good. I have also been exercising - exercising the core "forgive myself" muscles, and those "ask for help" latissimi dorsi (seriously, that's how you spell the plural). And I must say, I'm excited for the coming semester. I'm at a great point in my life when I've realized that I do need help with a lot of things I formerly thought I could handle by default, and now I have opportunity to reorganize and sort of mentally hit 'refresh' in terms of my academic focus. Of course when things heat up a bit and the stress comes out with guns a-blazin' it will be difficult, but I am learning to really deal in healthy ways and these are lessons that can only help me. Hooray! Go life!
Two other things to mention (for my later consumption, if nothing else...):
- Scholastic book orders!!! Today at lunch Claire brought up one of my most favorite things from all of elementary school. Did anyone else just LIVE for Scholastic book orders? And the BOOK FAIR! OH MY GOODNESS. Just thinking about it makes me a little high - with joy.
- My olde neighbor Budapesten Elara came to visit Olaf today. AWESOME. I miss her a lot. I miss ye olde roommate Fai a lot. I miss awesome Star Trek buddy Arolyn a lot. I miss Budapest a lot. Not enough to go back right now - I'm barely just getting reacquainted with life here! - but a lot.
Now, I must return to reading! A Holocaust survivor is visiting our class tomorrow and I want to be all kinds of prepared, at least as far as that is possible. We are SO fortunate that she is coming to speak with us.
Seriously, this class is Nagyon Nagyon Jo'.
Love,
Me
Monday, June 23, 2008
Wyoming!
Is a nice place to visit. ESPECIALLY when you're visiting a long-lost most wonderful friend. And that is precisely what I did this weekend! Jeremy, Alex, and I drove up to Laramie and went hiking with Katie at the Vedauwoo - a very cool place with fun rocks to climb and tear your skin on. And we saw antelope! Hooray.
It was great to see Katie. This summer I have rediscovered the pleasures of seeing old friends again. Last weekend we had a little D'Evelyn '05 get together in Boulder - what fun! And I must say that one of my most fav 'old friends' I've been getting reaquainted with this summer is the lovely state herself, Colorado. It is GOOD to be home.
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