My, my. It has been a while. :)
Well, a great deal of life has been going on since last I posted here. Heartache and grief at a friend lost to the cruel coldness of depression. Lots and lots of laughter and hilarity. Finding freedom I never imagined in saying true things out loud. Spending more of my 'days at the office' on some of America's gorgeous reservoirs! Using my science writing and statistical muscles for good and not evil (or at least, for the government). Saying goodbye to a mentor and hello again to the exhausting frustration that volunteering in a church can induce. Oh - and I went to Jamaica! With those awesome high schoolers. That was fun and a half (1.5 FUNs).
In the most recent news available, I am on sabbatical from employment and re-evaluating my direction in life. I have been angsting over this evaluation process from Day One post-graduation (and let's face it, the angst has been a practice of mine since at least junior year of high school), and I can say with a lovely sort of calm that right now, I am feeling "ready." Ready for what, you may ask; ready for anything. Ready to make decisions. Ready to own my life. Ready to continue letting go of my angst. Ready to keep making tracks. :)
It surely is a beautiful one, this life. And God I am lucky to be living it.
I just have this beautiful open feeling inside of me right now, like I am standing in an open doorway looking out on the vast fullness and color of the rest of my life.
It's a nice change from the claustrophobic shithole of depression. Hot damn!
And, I took the GRE finally this morning, and it felt GREat! :)
Showing posts with label resurrection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label resurrection. Show all posts
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Practice makes better
But it is so damn hard sometimes.
I've been feeling lonely. It's the sort of vague, unnamed feeling that seems to undergird my every day here on this lovely Hill. Sometimes I hate it, sometimes I rise above it, and most times I am tired enough to not do much about it.
But I decided last week to be more active in practicing positivity. Right. And since it is Easter, a specific sort of 'positivity' comes to mind, which I'll use these excerpts from Wendell Berry's The Mad Farmer Liberation Front to express:
So, friends, every day do something that won't compute.
Love the Lord. Love the world.
Work for nothing. Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.
Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.
Practice resurrection.
Anne Lamott says frequently in her book Grace Eventually that very often the bravest and best thing we can do is get out of bed each morning.
Practice resurrection.
So here's one thing that I'll miss about St. Olaf, about Northfield, about this chapter in my life as I move into the next one: I'll miss Holy Cross Dundas. I'll miss this tiny congregation that it's taken me four years to get to know and feel a part of...these people who have been so supportive and such a down-to-earth, flawed-in-all-the-human-ways community. I have rarely been at my best here. But I have always been welcomed and loved, even when I didn't let myself notice. It's like Jacob and his dream of a ladder..."Surely the LORD is in this place, and I did not know it!"
I've been feeling lonely. It's the sort of vague, unnamed feeling that seems to undergird my every day here on this lovely Hill. Sometimes I hate it, sometimes I rise above it, and most times I am tired enough to not do much about it.
But I decided last week to be more active in practicing positivity. Right. And since it is Easter, a specific sort of 'positivity' comes to mind, which I'll use these excerpts from Wendell Berry's The Mad Farmer Liberation Front to express:
So, friends, every day do something that won't compute.
Love the Lord. Love the world.
Work for nothing. Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.
Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.
Practice resurrection.
Anne Lamott says frequently in her book Grace Eventually that very often the bravest and best thing we can do is get out of bed each morning.
Practice resurrection.
So here's one thing that I'll miss about St. Olaf, about Northfield, about this chapter in my life as I move into the next one: I'll miss Holy Cross Dundas. I'll miss this tiny congregation that it's taken me four years to get to know and feel a part of...these people who have been so supportive and such a down-to-earth, flawed-in-all-the-human-ways community. I have rarely been at my best here. But I have always been welcomed and loved, even when I didn't let myself notice. It's like Jacob and his dream of a ladder..."Surely the LORD is in this place, and I did not know it!"
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